PROM

This is serious stuff, you guys.

"It's like the Olympics of High School."

"Graduation's for the parents. Prom's really just for us."

"It's not about a dance. It's about who you are...and who you're going to be."

These quotes are from a trailer I just saw on TV. A ridiculous new Disney movie called - you guessed it - "Prom." Way to get creative there, Disney. Totally out of the box. Seriously, new Disney? I bet old Disney is so disappointed in you.

Prom makes me laugh - just the idea of it. Having been a teenager once, I can't speak too harshly of it because I am sure at one point it was semi-important to me. Even the awkward "where do I put my arm" prom pictures have a special, albeit very tiny, place in my heart. In fact, a couple of my favorite prom dresses are still hung up in my parent's closet, which I am sure they appreciate, since they take up a quarter of their closet. Sorry, Mom and Dad.

One time, when I was a Sophomore and therefore wasn't officially "invited" to prom (so exclusive), a boy I was "dating" (aka passing notes to in the hall between classes) was asked to prom by an older girl I played soccer with. So scandalous! I must admit, my tender and overly-emotional 16-year-old heart was broken and extremely jealous.

However, lo and behold, a nice young man ended up asking me, and I consented. The week before Prom weekend, I hurt my foot pretty badly in a soccer game, and was on crutches.

Things I remember about that night:

I wore a white sequined dress which consisted of a corset with sleeves sewn onto it and a long skirt. I remember feeling kind of funny because another girl there had what I am pretty certain was the same exact dress, although her entire midriff was showing. I actually think that was the way the dress was supposed to be, but I had no idea. I remember thinking it fit me a little funny, but being the very-short torso-ed person that I am, I hadn't noticed what the dress was "supposed" to look like until that moment. It's probably a good thing.

There were bowls of goldfish on each table, for decoration. By the end of the night, most of these goldfish had met their fate either in the bowl, on the dance floor, or in the stomachs of teenage boys desperate to "show off" their mad goldfish-eating skills? to their dates. Not sure how impressive this was, but I digress. Don't tell PETA.

I was determined to not be using crutches by that night, thanks to a little friend we call Valium. Yes...Valium. Don't worry, it was prescribed by the doctor for my foot injury, but still...I guess I got the full "typical" prom experience, as I definitely was more than a little delirious the whole time. I just remember being really, really happy and sleepy. But no foot pain. Ha!

And that's pretty much all I can remember...can you blame me? I was not necessarily "myself."

Jason's prom story makes me laugh even more. He asked Girl #1 to prom. She had already been asked by someone via note (will you go to prom with me? Check yes or no.) This boy was out of town, so she had to wait until he was back in town to decline his offer and accept Jason's. Who can blame her? He's pretty smooth.

In comes Girl #2, ready to pounce (laaadddies man!). She asks him to prom. Like any high school boy that isn't aware of the serious ramifications of telling a girl "maybe," he told her he had to wait to hear from Girl #1 if they are going, but if not, "sure!" What a dilemma.

Meanwhile, Girl #2 gets anxious and two days later buys a wedding dress. And has it altered! Yes, as in a big, poofy, white, purchased from a bridal shop, wedding dress. Because, you know, if you're not sure whether or not you're going to prom, your best bet would be to buy a wedding dress just in case. Just to seal the deal. Right? Fairly logical. In her defense, Jason probably could have been more clear whether or not he could go with her, but a guy's gotta keep his options open, right?

Around this same time, Jason remembers going to Girl #2's (where he had never been before), and seeing a picture of himself clipped out of a newspaper tacked to her wall. Can you say creepy? Wedding dress + clipped-out newspaper picture on her wall = just plain creepy. There's just no getting around that. Well, really creepy or really flattering, I guess. If you're into that sort of thing.

Girl #1 ends up telling him she can go after all, and so Jason has to break it to Girl #2 that he's not going to be able to go with her, thinking it's not a big deal. Girl #2 goes berserk and chews him out on the phone for over an hour. She drops the wedding dress news, including price paid for it...bad move. My favorite part? She tells him that he just needs to follow his heart. Sounds straight out of a bad Disney movie called "Prom." Jason now realizes what he got himself into, and the newspaper clipping starts to make sense. A little bit flattering, a lotta bit creepy. It puts the lotion on its skin, anyone?

Jason makes it to prom with girl #1, but girl #2 is there, shooting him daggers all night. Girl #1 isn't feeling well and goes home early. Girl #2 (there by herself?) asks for a ride home. One of Jason's guy friends ends up having to leave early, so Jason has to take his date home, and turn down Girl #2's offer yet again. Jason learns his lesson and makes sure to lock his door that night.

I love prom stories. Although, I can't help but feel really bad for Girl #2. Maybe she wasn't so creepy after all. Maybe she just really liked him. I guess it's my motherly instincts, but I would hope that my girls wouldn't have their hearts broken like that. However, my girls will not be buying wedding dresses for their proms. That is kind of asking for it.