Scribble Knees

Whenever I leave pens out of place at our house, this is the result. It gets a whole lot worse than this, but I sometimes neglect to document. Plus, I love this picture for a few reasons:
1) Her cute scribble knees, that she told me were pictures of "Dada" when I asked what she drew. She was SO proud of herself.
2) Her precious leg rolls that are almost completely gone. What used to be 3 or 4 rolls is now just a slight crease in each skinny little thigh. I'll take what I can get!
3) Princess ("Peensees") undies over her diaper, because she insists on being a "Big Girl Ray Ray."

Whitney

It seems as though all of my loved ones' birthdays fall in clusters. Today was my dad's birthday, tomorrow is my best friend Whitney's birthday, and there are more to come soon. What's a girl to do?! Since Whitney's birthday present will be a bit late coming in the mail, I thought that I at least owed her a birthday blog post, since she is such a loyal blog reader of mine, and also because she did a very sweet birthday tribute to me on my birthday. I am so lucky to call her my friend. I could go on and on about why I love this girl. We met in 2005 (I believe?) when she came to look for apartments (and roommates) to live with when she moved to Provo for school. I was lucky enough to call her "roommate," and even though we lived in the most ghetto, disgusting apartment (that we paid WAY too much for, by the way?), we had so much fun. I have so many good memories with her. Here are some things I love about Whitney:
- Anyone that has ever met her or even SEEN her knows that she is on of the most beautiful people. I would probably be super jealous of her, if I didn't love her so much! She has the most gorgeous blue eyes that her daughter inherited from her too - lucky girl!
- She has a great sense of humor, but more importantly, she thinks I'm funny. It always feels good to have at least ONE person that will consistently laugh at your jokes, even if she is doing it just to be nice.
- She is one of the most genuinely sweet people I know. She is always concerned about how others are feeling. She always asks me how I am doing, and I know she means it.
- She has the most adorable daughter named Sawyer, whom she loves and adores beyond words. It has been so fun seeing her become a mom. She would do anything for that precious little girl.
- She is extremely down to earth.
- She is a VERY strong person. I admire that so much about her.
- She loves her family so much, and especially her nieces and nephews. I know they love her too.
- She's someone that I can turn to for anything. This could be considered bad or good, but I know that she would support me through anything. I remember having a conversation one time with her, and she told me that if I came to her and needed her to help me find someplace to bury a body, she would help me. Sweet girl, right?
- She has a strong testimony and has helped me strengthen mine in so many ways.
Happy Birthday, Whit! You are my forever friend!

DAD

Today is my dear old dad's birthday (well, not so much OLD). I would like to wish him a happy birthday. My dad is as young at heart as any 20-something-year old. I have never met someone that could relate to so many different people, of any any age group or situation. He is one of the most genuine people that I know. I want to be like him in so many ways. Here are some things I love about my dad.
- He is very funny. I am told that I inherited his knack for saying inappropriate things out of context in uncomfortable situations. Luckily, unlike me, he saves most of that for family. He makes us all laugh.
- He is also very wise, and gives great advice. He is always straight-forward in his opinion, and I have always appreciated that.
- He loves his family. He would do anything for any of us.
- Hanging out with him is like hanging out with any of my friends. Like I mentioned before, he can relate to just about anyone.
- He is such a great Bumpah, and so great with kids. Reagan adores him quite possibly more than anyone else. All of the kids at church are drawn to him as well. It has been so fun to watch him play with Reagan.
- He works harder than anyone I know. Whether he's in the office or out in the yard, he puts everything into his work.
- He loves to serve.
- He has a strong, sweet, testimony, and I am grateful for his example of what it means to be a truly faithful, unwaivering member of the church.
- He is an excellent teacher. He taught seminary for many years, and now teaches various sunday school and priesthood classes at church. He can make learning fun for anyone, and his white board stick drawings are the best.
- He is one of my best friends.

Here is some proof that he is really, really cool:







And look how cute my parents were, waaaaay back in the day. (I don't think they were even dating?) But they always knew they'd get married. Awwwwwww....

Happy Birthday, Dad!

34 weeks

I am now at 34 weeks...only 6 weeks (give or take some...please TAKE some) to go. I can't believe how fast it has gone. I could have a baby in 3 weeks. I really shouldn't say that and jinx myself, but man oh man will it be nice to not have a tiny person camping inside my rib cage and my pelvis 24/7. I am feeling rather large and precarious, but really great - no waddling yet, and I can still put my own socks on! However, I fear I may lose that ability very soon. I was beginning to think that this baby would be a lot smaller than Reagan was at birth (7 lbs 12 oz.), but now I am unsure. Baby Ember feels like she is at full-term size already. I am slightly scared. But very, very excited. Can't wait for her to get here. But not until I am completely ready. Still have some organizing to do!

(These pictures are annoying and gross to some, and to those people I apologize. To those who have requested them, you're so very welcome.)

Trouble Babies

I just got these in the mail from my sister Haley.



Were these a normal part of anyone else's childhood, or just us? We used to get these all the time. They are dolls that are traditionally made in Guatemala, that are used to "take away" a child's worries. We called them "trouble babies," because you tell your troubles to them, put them under your pillow at night, and in the morning, if they are gone, so are your troubles. If only it were that simple, right? Apparently we were very troubled children.

Anyways, thanks for sending them, Haley!
(I texted her this picture to show her that I had received them, and she responded with "Jason's hands?" Nope, Haley, just mine, but thank you. Maybe it's the pregnancy-related water retention. I sure hope so.)

Valentime's Weekend

Jason and I aren't big into Valentine's Day. Ever since we were first dating, we have always celebrated what Jason likes to call "ValentiMe's Day," which is the 15th, as opposed to the 14th, for a few reasons:

1) It's fun to say and what kid hasn't called it that?
2) It's a lot less crowded at restaurants, movies, and so forth.
3) The price of roses goes down dramatically after the 14th. Score!

However, we've come to realize since we've been married, been in school, had kids, etc., that when given an opportunity to spend time together, even on a holiday that is not usually dramatically celebrated in our family, you take it! We'd been planning our "weekend away" for over a month, and spent 4 days together, relaxing and having fun in Bellevue.
Reagan stayed with her Nana and Bumpah over the weekend and, I must admit, leaving her caused me A LOT of anxiety. I was unnecessarily stressed for days about it, because it was the first time we've ever left her for more than a few hours. But, there really was nothing to worry about. Reagan loves my mom and dad more than she loves us most likely, and she is in heaven with all of the attention she gets at their house. I kept pretending like I was worried about her, but really, I was worried about ME. I am so attached to her and used to spending every waking second with her, that I was worried that I would not be able to enjoy the time away, and end up ruining the great weekend Jason had planned for us. But, I ended up being just fine. There were a few tears the first night on my part, and I kept "hearing" her and expecting her to run around the corner of our hotel room, but that's all normal, right? We ended up having such a good time.
I love Bellevue - there was lots to see and do, and most importantly EAT. There are so many good restaurants at Bellevue Square - Cheesecake Factory, PF Chang's, Ruth's Chris Steakhouse (it was good, but $50 a person - really??). I also love all the shopping, and Jason's lucky that I am pregnant right now, because I'm not willing to spend money on clothes that will only fit me for a few more weeks! So many cute children's boutiques, though. I sometimes feel bad because I have not bought baby Ember ONE clothing item, but since Reagan is currently going through a major growth spurt, I feel like I am always buying her things. Maybe because she's actually here in person, and I can receive instant satisfaction putting a cute outfit on her? Who knows...but I do fully intend to pass all of these clothes on to Ember. She might look a little homeless in some of the clothes that Reagan has worn out, but there's something so endearing about little homeless-looking babies. =)
It was so nice to stay up late watching movies and catch up on TV (LOST and Friday Night Lights), sleep in, not be in a hurry anywhere, and remember what it's like to be a couple again. It's funny that, before kids, we would go out to eat and see movies, stay up late, and sleep in ALL THE TIME, and not think anything of it. And now it is such a vacation! But...I know one thing, I wouldn't change a thing. I missed my little Goonzface so much. It is so good to be back home spending time with her again. She is such a "grown-up" little girl now. In fact, she's starting calling herself "big girl Ray-Ray" - sounds like a boxing heavyweight champ name or something? She puts the biggest smiles on my face every day.

So fun to come home to this girl:

When did she get so skinny? It seems like just yesterday, she looked like this...oh I miss those rolls!




(Yes, sometimes she's possessed.)

Actin' cool...



(She has to wear that princess nightgown over everything.)

Princess

Today, my dear friend and fellow young women leader in our ward, Amanda, gave a lesson about realizing and fulfilling our divine potential. I have been thinking a lot lately about my responsibility as a mom, especially to girls, who will, without a doubt, need to be taught and shown what their divine potential is as daughters of God more than once. I find myself really troubled when I hear the young women say negative or unproductive things about themselves, and realize that this "practice" is way too common than it should be, especially among the female variety. It was not long ago that I was a teenager, and found myself really disliking who I saw when I looked in the mirror. I felt confident and beautiful when I was doing productive things - after a soccer game that I poured my heart and soul into, or when I was diligent about reading the scriptures or working on my personal progress, etc. But, unfortunately, many times I would look in the mirror at the end of the day and point out my physical flaws to myself - my eyebrows weren't shaped just right, my freckles were in all the wrong places, a pimple here, a little too much "jiggle" there, and I ended up back where I started: unhappy, and feeling rather sorry for myself. If only I could go back to that person now and tell her that she is actually beautiful, because she is literally a daughter of Heavenly Father. Would I have believed it? It took time for me to really realize and believe what that meant. I definitely had moments where I felt that very strongly, but those moments were sometimes fleeting. I am starting to remember how hard being a 15 year old is. I don't like when people, referring to teenagers, say "They don't know how easy they have it," or, "Why are they complaining? Their life is so easy." Being a teenager is downright not an easy task, I don't care who you are. As much fun as it was at times, I definitely wouldn't go back given the choice. I wish I had known then how much pure joy I would experience in my life. How happy and renewed I would feel at each dimpled grin from my beautiful little girl, or each embrace and "I love you" from my eternal sweetheart. Now, my fleeting moments are the ones where I look in the mirror and say "wow, that doesn't look normal," or "too bad about those stretch marks, huh?" It is not long before I remember to remind myself of how good I have it, and how very blessed I am. There have been and will be trials, but I now know who I am, and that somehow makes enduring those hard times easier and, dare I say, worth it. I know I am a daughter of God. I know this because I see it in every single miraculous thing I have been blessed with. Why else would I have been given these beautiful, healthy, happy, children that remind me to laugh and that I am loved every single day of my life? Why else would Heavenly Father trust them in my care? Why else would Heavenly Father bless me with a husband who looks past my misplaced freckles and extra jiggle and sees something close to what He sees in me? He did it because He loves me and because I am His child. He wants me to be happy. And, besides the times when I briefly forget who I am, (we all have those days!) I am happy. I want to harness these feelings and give them to Reagan, all wrapped up in a box complete with a pretty bow, for her to have whenever she might forget or lose track of that knowledge. I have found myself constantly capturing moments I have with her lately, because I feel like, right now, she truly believes that she is beautiful. Every day, she tells me that she is a "princess", as she dances and glides around the house in her diaper (if I'm lucky, there will be at least a diaper.) She sings nonsense words at the top of her lungs, complete with forced vibrato. She smiles when she looks in the mirror and brushes her wild hair. She nods confidently when I tell her how pretty she is. In fact, she has all the confidence in the world. I mourn the loss of this confidence as she gets older. I want her to always be dancing around the house, singing at the top of her lungs, and smiling when she sees her reflection in the mirror. How is it that now, at not even 2 years old, she knows who she is more than most women do at age 15, 20, 30, 40...? She is so trusting - I tell her she's beautiful, so she is. There's a picture of Jesus in our home where he's holding what looks like a toddler-aged child. She asks me to lift her up to look at that picture almost daily. I ask her, "Do you know that Jesus loves you, sweetheart?" and, without any hesitation, she always gives me a very confident nod complete with a resounding "Yeah!" I pray that I will be able to teach her and remind her of that feeling when she forgets. I pray that she always believes me when I tell her how beautiful and perfect she really is. And if she doesn't? Well, I will show her and teach her in every way I know how and possibly can. I won't give up. Why? Because I am her mom, but she...she is a daughter of God. My little princess.